Where I Ramble and Use Too Many Exclamation Points
Hello.
Dear Mike,
I think I shall once again resume posting on a regular basis.
You're welcome.
Things have been hectic, what with people dying and me planning a show and going to an audition EVERY SINGLE DAY THIS WEEK.
I maybe went to an audition yesterday and got called back to dance later in the afternoon and who was the choreographer who taught me the combination?
This guy:
He is a choreographer on "So You Think You Can DANCE!"
Everyone knew this except me. Go figure.
I found the combination easy but as always, needed more time. They cut me but I was not sorry at all that I went. I was kind of flying high the rest of the day from my free ballet class with a super famous choreographer. (So super famous, I had no idea who he was. Right.) The best thing about the callback was that the studio didn't have air conditioning and that it was 99 degrees outside and we were all wearing leotards and tights.
...
Later, I called Alayna and was all, "And now, after sweating more than I ever thought possible, I am going to the gym."
Alayna: To work out?
Me: No. To shower.
And I did. Ladies and gentleman, if you are ever walking around NYC during a heatwave, directly after ballet dancing at a callback in a studio without air conditioning and you don't have time to go home before you need to meet Important People, take my advice.
Go to the gym. Take a cold shower. Put your clothes back on. Aaaahhhh.
Then, go to Sephora, reapply make up, spritz perfume, tra la! You are ready to great the rest of your day.
It sounds kind of insane but look who's telling you this!? Exactly.
Actually, I AM SO GLAD I de-sweatified myself because while walking through TImes Square, I ran SMACK into a boy who was in my FIRST GRADE CLASS! That Christmas, when we were six, he made me a Luke and Zelda Christmas card and signed it "LOVE, S." Also? At his pool party? He knew all the words to Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start The Fire". IT WAS LOVE I TELL YOU! LOVE!!!
Hm. Well. At six it was. Running into him was kind of amazing and totally random and why is it that I always run into people I know in Times Square? The most crowded touristy place on Earth? Why, I ask you, why?! It doesn't matter. The point is: I looked refreshed. Take note.
So! Let's talk about something else! OKAY! What I really want to tell you is that I went to my friend Mike's karaoke birthday party last week because Mike! Loves! Karaoke!
I kind of have mixed feelings about karaoke. And by mixed feelings, I mean someone usually has to push me into doing it and I am always for some godforsaken reason 100% completely sober and I HATE IT SO MUCH and then after it's over I'm like OH! I HAVE A GOOD IDEA! I WILL NOW SING 80's BALLADS WHILE DOING AN INTERPRETIVE DANCE!
...
Apparently, from this picture, I am singing later on in the evening where I have already decided to bust a move with my friend Stefanie. For the record, we are singing "Hit Me Baby One More Time" by the inimitable Britney Spears. (I am either closing my eyes for emphasis or I am looking down at the screen because I do not know the words to this song. Which is it? You decide.) Please also note my exceptionally long Muppet arms.
Dear Mike, Thank you for taking pictures of me singing karaoke. And by thank you, I mean PLEASE DO NOT DO THAT EVER AGAIN.
Though this one is kind of cute, I will say:
You can see the rest on flickr.
The parts of karaoke that were NOT captured on camera include:
* an Asian man singing "Born in the USA". (Guess what? He most certainly WAS NOT.)
* a random frat boy singing the "Saved By The Bell" theme song. I wanted to marry him.
* a midget singing "What Is Love? (Baby Don't Hurt Me)". I couldn't make this up.
* the token Debbie Downer karaoke girl who sang horribly off pitch to both Christina Aguilera's "Beautiful" and Shakira's "Underneath Your Clothes". PLEASE! NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR YOU SING A BORING POP BALLAD AT KARAOKE UNLESS YOU SING LIKE A ROCKSTAR.
I always stick to 80's tunes, duets or a good jazz standard that everyone loves. Oh and apparently now, songs by Britney Spears.
Okay, well I wanted to post and say HELLO! and WORD! and No One Else I Know Has Died Recently! So, that's fantastic. I am working on my cabaret and I promised my mother that though the postcard says "Growing up Catholic on Long Island", I am not really making fun of Catholic people. There will be no blasphemy in the show except the part where I kneel down and worship a copy of The Da Vinci Code.
Am I kidding? You're just going to have to wait and see.
3 Comments:
Ummm. Why does your magician friend have this sort of Eric Bana / David Copperfield thing going on? I would have needed a few extra minutes too.
Mostly out of Grade E celebrity confusion and then pondering whether or not he would be willing to pee on his plants. Do famous people's pee have more nitrogen and less salt?
But that's just where I'm at in my life right now.
Eric Bana. Swoon.
I should've asked him if he would be willing to pee on his plants because I'm sure it has more nitrogen. In fact, I could just SENSE the extra nitrogen, just wafting around him everywhere he danced. It was incredible. I think I grew, just being in his presence.
I sing ballads when doing Karaoke, but it's Celine Dion's "It's All Coming Back to Me." But I sing with my friend Amy and we sort of mock the song as we sing so it makes it amusing.
But I tried singing Moulin Rouge's Elephant Medley at a Gay Bar in Buffalo and I remembered I can't hit the high notes and usually go in my flat falsetto when I sing it alone at home. So I was a bit quiet singing it. And a lot of queens were yelling they couldn't hear me and a bitch diva was behind me trying to outdo me. I never wanted to do karaoke again. So I go to lesbian bars now, where there's always a Debby Downer and I'm not the worst on there.
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