UTI's and CSA's

Thanks to my last entry, I now have people finding my blog by googling "my urethra is wider than normal".

Um. I'm sorry about that but I don't think I can help you. Perhaps I can refer you to the Actor's Fund health clinic?

I have finished my antibiotics and am waiting to see if I am all healed. Despite the overwhelming advice in the comments section that FREAKED ME OUT COMPLETELY, I will most likely NOT be going back to the doctor for a post urine culture NOR will I be getting a catheter NOR will I be eating anymore swiss chard. I will probably call tomorrow and make sure I was given the correct antibiotic because like someone commented and like my doctor told me, there are certain medicines given for specific bacteria and since they have to wait a few days to confirm which bacteria I have hangin' out inside me, they sort of prescribe medication for UTI's a bit blindly. That was the longest sentence ever.

And now we are all properly educated on urinary tract infections.

And now onto the chard.

I was notified right before Memorial Day that I was bumped up off the wait list for the Astoria CSA.

"HOORAY!!" I shouted loudly from my bedroom.

"SHUT UP AND SLEEP!" responded my drowsy roommate.

"I cannot sleep!" I gleefully announced, because this is sometimes how I talk, "For soon the harvest shall be bountiful and we shall reap the fruits of the peasants' labor!"

"Seriously," said my roommate, "Stop."

This is the third week of my vegetable and fruit delivery, though the fruit delivery is rather pitiful at this point in the season and includes a pint of strawberries. That's it. Though they are the juiciest strawberries in the history of the world, um, hurry up and get here July and August so Mama can have some peaches and blackberries and MAKE HERSELF A PIE!

I'm proud to say that I've used up every single vegetable except for three sad stalks of rhubarb from last week.

I asked the Queen of Eco-Blogs what to do with rhubarb and she was all, "Um, compost it?"

Dude, I meant like eating it. I know, I could bake a strawberry rhubarb pie! But...but...I only had three stalks of rhubarb and surely that's not enough for a pie, is it? So I thought about it a lot because I felt SO GUILTY that I wasn't EATING IT because PEOPLE ARE STARVING AND DRIVING SUV'S AND RUINING THE PLANET and here I was letting perfectly good rhubarb wilt in my fridge! Every morning, I opened the door and stroked the little red stalks. "We'll find a way, little rhubarb," I cooed.

But it was not to be. I eventually got lazy and thought "Surely, the rhubarb will be back one day and I can figure it out then!" And then I also read something on the reliable internet that said rhubarb leaves were poisonous and I thought I was way too stupid to figure out what was a leaf and what wasn't and I would probably die a painful agonizing RHUBARB POISONING DEATH. So I took Deanna's advice and sent it to the compost. And by sent it to the compost, I mean I took it on a morning run and set it free in Astoria Park. Stop judging me. I'm not the only woman running while holding wilting stalks of vegetables, am I?

Deanna also mentioned that swiss chard was the bane of her existence when she belonged to a CSA and rarely was ingested. I must tell you that I LOVE ARUGULA. I LOVE FRESH SPINACH. I LOVE KALE. NOM NOM IN MY BELLY. Y'all? I do not like swiss chard. I do not like them in a house, I do not like them in a mouse. But I ate it because unlike some people, I'm not a quitter.

For those who care, I received two kinds of lettuces which I made into a salad with arugula, radishes and chick peas (which, obviously, were not from the CSA,). I tossed the spinach with garlic, olive oil and pasta one evening. And for lunch this week, I made kale, swiss chard, broccoli and sun-dried tomatoes (another non-CSA ingredient) with linguine in a cashew cream sauce. This was my most successful venture except for the chard because UGHHHH my heavens, those peasants better stop growing that stuff. I mean, what on earth is the point when even cashew cream sauce can't hide the taste?

I'm nervous about this week's share because on the list is "kohlrabi" and "garlic scapes" and I'm just not sure how much of that I will have to take on a jog with me. I can only hold so much in my hands, you know? I mean, that's crossing some kind of line, isn't it? What would YOU think if you saw me? Some crazy blonde chick, breathing hard, running with her pink iPod in one hand, keys in the other, bopping to Beyonce's "Lost Yo Mind" while her mouth is full of kohlrabi. She reaches the park, sprints towards the shrubbery and promptly spits out her vegetables, all in the name of composting. WHAT HAVE I GOTTEN MYSELF INTO!?