One With Nature
On Wednesday night, I attended an amazing paranormal lecture at the haunted Merchant's House Museum on East 4th Street. My good friend Dan heads a paranormal investigation group in the NYC area that hits up haunted places and gathers super spooky information about GHOSTS! and SPIRITS! and GOBLINS! and DEAD PEOPLE! Dan gave an amazing talk and while it gave me chills a little bit, I didn't think much about how freaked I was until I was walking home from the train alone.
The quickest route from the subway to my apartment involves walking under a huge train tressel. By day, walking under the bridge isn't scary at all, it's just a little dark and it always smells like a combination of pee and lamb kabobs from the vendor who sets up shop on the street corner. (Who would decide to sell kabobs under a bridge? I have no idea how he stays in business.) Anyway, it's just kind of gross and there's pigeon poop all over the ground below since gaggles of birds like to sit up in the rafters.
But at night, it's kind of creepy. There aren't many stores on the avenue so it's not very bright. And though my neighborhood is ridiculously safe, particularly on Wednesday night, I was feeling kind of creeped out.
I tried to think positive as I started walking under the bridge. I put a country song in my iPod, I had just busted out my spring coat for the first time, etc. I was beginning to feel secure, almost home when all of a sudden something warm and rancid smacked me in the face.
It was pigeon poo.
You got that right. A pigeon SHAT ON ME.
It covered my nose, went in one nostril, got all over the lapels of my coat and collected in the rim of my glasses.
The best part about this story is that I didn't scream or stop and clean myself off.
I just...kept walking.
After the inital shock of excrement landing on my face, I just kind of reacted like, "Well. That happened."
I wiped my face off as best I could on my COAT SLEEVE! And walked the remaining blocks home.
My roommate nearly fell on the floor when he saw me and then begged to take the picture below. I kind of love my expression and also, the bright blue gum in my mouth.
Please note the black bird doo on the coat and the lovely white parts on my glasses. At this point, the poo on my face had been wiped clean because I love you guys, but I don't love you enough to walk 5 blocks with bird shat in my nostril. Also missing here, the bird doo IN MY HAIR. May I present, for your amusement:
People tell me this is good luck.
So, I'll keep waiting for something awesome to happen to me.
In the mean time, Happy Earth Day! Watch out for falling pigeon poop and have a great day.
The quickest route from the subway to my apartment involves walking under a huge train tressel. By day, walking under the bridge isn't scary at all, it's just a little dark and it always smells like a combination of pee and lamb kabobs from the vendor who sets up shop on the street corner. (Who would decide to sell kabobs under a bridge? I have no idea how he stays in business.) Anyway, it's just kind of gross and there's pigeon poop all over the ground below since gaggles of birds like to sit up in the rafters.
But at night, it's kind of creepy. There aren't many stores on the avenue so it's not very bright. And though my neighborhood is ridiculously safe, particularly on Wednesday night, I was feeling kind of creeped out.
I tried to think positive as I started walking under the bridge. I put a country song in my iPod, I had just busted out my spring coat for the first time, etc. I was beginning to feel secure, almost home when all of a sudden something warm and rancid smacked me in the face.
It was pigeon poo.
You got that right. A pigeon SHAT ON ME.
It covered my nose, went in one nostril, got all over the lapels of my coat and collected in the rim of my glasses.
The best part about this story is that I didn't scream or stop and clean myself off.
I just...kept walking.
After the inital shock of excrement landing on my face, I just kind of reacted like, "Well. That happened."
I wiped my face off as best I could on my COAT SLEEVE! And walked the remaining blocks home.
My roommate nearly fell on the floor when he saw me and then begged to take the picture below. I kind of love my expression and also, the bright blue gum in my mouth.
Please note the black bird doo on the coat and the lovely white parts on my glasses. At this point, the poo on my face had been wiped clean because I love you guys, but I don't love you enough to walk 5 blocks with bird shat in my nostril. Also missing here, the bird doo IN MY HAIR. May I present, for your amusement:
A BIRD DONE SHAT ON ME!
People tell me this is good luck.
So, I'll keep waiting for something awesome to happen to me.
In the mean time, Happy Earth Day! Watch out for falling pigeon poop and have a great day.
4 Comments:
yeah i never understood how having a bird shit on you is lucky. Is it because lucky you now has a jacket you get to wash. Woot!
I know, right!? Luckily, HA, the coat is clean!
You are too much! I *did* laugh out loud and my little boy said, "mommy, why are you laughing at the computer?" and I told him a bird pooped on a lady and he said, "oh, is that funny?" when Laura tells the story it is.....
Why thank you. I'm glad I can be such a source of amusement. :)
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