Tick...Tick...Boom!
I called Lindsay this morning to finalize plans for her 25th birthday celebration, which was going on later this evening. I wasn't sure where we were meeting, what time, on a scale of 1-10 how cute I needed to look, etc.
Lindsay: Hello?
Laura: HEY! Happy YOU ARE WAY OLDER THAN ME DAY!
Lindsay: Laura...I cried four different times this week.
Laura: What? Why?
Lindsay: Because I'm OLD.
Laura: Wha...
Lindsay: The first time it was because I don't have a baby. The second time it was because I COULD have a baby. The third time was because I don't WANT a baby. And the fourth time was because of this show on TLC...have you seen the coming attractions for it? It's called "In The Womb"?
Laura: No...I can't believe I missed it...
Lindsay: Yeah. It's about multiples and how they, like, open and close their hands in the womb, they HOLD HANDS and they have this CONNECTION.
Laura: Wow.
Lindsay: Yeah. My biological clock is no longer ticking.
*pause*
Because it fucking EXPLODED.
Lindsay: Hello?
Laura: HEY! Happy YOU ARE WAY OLDER THAN ME DAY!
Lindsay: Laura...I cried four different times this week.
Laura: What? Why?
Lindsay: Because I'm OLD.
Laura: Wha...
Lindsay: The first time it was because I don't have a baby. The second time it was because I COULD have a baby. The third time was because I don't WANT a baby. And the fourth time was because of this show on TLC...have you seen the coming attractions for it? It's called "In The Womb"?
Laura: No...I can't believe I missed it...
Lindsay: Yeah. It's about multiples and how they, like, open and close their hands in the womb, they HOLD HANDS and they have this CONNECTION.
Laura: Wow.
Lindsay: Yeah. My biological clock is no longer ticking.
*pause*
Because it fucking EXPLODED.
3 Comments:
hey why didn't you try out for that show on TV Grease?? the broadway one... :(
I don't think I was in town at the time of the auditions but also...the more I watch it...the more I think it's probably a really good idea I stayed away from that. It's a bit...frightening, no? ;)
You should tell Lindsey about that service that gives away "free babies" from a rolling dresser on the street. It's beneficial to SOCIETY, man.
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