And I Am Tellin' You...
Happy New Year, guys!
It's been crazy these past few weeks as my body adjusts to the phenomenon that is "spending prolonged periods of time with my family". The holidays were wonderful; I got a crapload of great music, a plethora of novels to dig into and an electric toothbrush which, WOW! I've actually been late for appointments and meetings because I'm too busy brushing my teeth over and over and over again...
I've been working a lot which has been really good for me and I'm slowly getting back into the swing of things. I caught up on some theatre too, which is lovely. Apparently, I had to make up for only seeing three Broadway shows in 11 months, so in a week, I saw three more. I've been on one audition already and now that I've gone to one, I'm officially back in the saddle, back to the grind, back to wait...what am I talking about?
New Year's Resolutions Include:
- Stop going out in public in sweatpants. Ugh.
- Stop being an old lady. i.e./Go out more, make plans with people, solidify friendships, etc. Basically, stop being so anal about staying in and getting enough sleep and putting on that yummy-smelling face cream so you don't get wrinkles. That is for people who are old. Like, 30. Not for twenty-somethings. Twenty-somethings PARTY. So. Go party. Or something.
- Stop making jokes about being boyfriend-less. It makes you sound desperate and unhappy and in reality, you aren't, so shut up, no one cares.
- Stop beating yourself up.
- Eat more fiber. Eat more vegetables. Teddy Grahams do not a meal make.
Which brings me to an announcement. A HUGE announcement and after I announce it (with flair and aplomb!), I'm probably not going to touch on it for awhile because I've noticed that as soon as I say it, people get all defensive and crazy and jump down my throat and yell at me about it when most of the time, they have NO IDEA WHAT THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT. Granted, you can't yell at me on my blog so...I think this should be a rather peaceful situation and by peaceful I mean, I get to write and you get to read silently to yourself and nod with a smile on your face and think, "Gosh, she's just so darn cute!"
Apparently, veganism IS contagious. I've been doing a lot of reading and after my Lemonade Cleanse, I decided to eliminate meat and dairy products from my diet until further notice. My mom and dad were really supportive at Christmas (I decided to go vegan BEFORE the holidays so that it couldn't be a New Year's resolution that was easily broken by February) and though I did indulge a few times in some non-vegany goodness, most of the time, I stuck to my guns and it's been working well for me ever since. My little brother, Jem, has been having the most fun with it and I appreciate that. While out for Vietnamese food for my father's birthday, in between forkfuls of steak he would rub his stomach and call down the table to me:
"Laura, this is AMAZING..."
"The steak?"
"No. The poison that I keep shoving down my digestive tract. MMMMM. I can feel it FERMENTING."
Granted that is sort of an exaggeration of conversation because Jem doesn't have much of a vocabulary. (Hi Jem! Thanks for the Ben Folds piano book! Kisses!)
Anyway. Yeah. I'm one of THOSE people. Save the animals and all that.
So. I'm sorry this post has gone from Lame to LAMEST. You know I'm searching for topics when I start blabbing about a dairy-free diet. Onto something else. Something somewhat meaningful:
I want to seriously state that if in the past, I have ever offended you with an entry on this website, I apologize. I want to think that at my age, I know what is appropriate but sometimes I make mistakes. It was brought to my attention over the holiday that many members of my extended family read this blog and while I expected that, since it's on the internet and well, I'm kind of famous, I sincerely don't always take into account the impression that I paint of them
I'm not talking about my parents here because they seem to enjoy every single slandering second of fame I give them. But there are others who pointed out a few words here and there that did not appear very flattering. And though no names were mentioned or other specificities given, it still wasn't exactly right of me. So, I hope in this New Year, you can forgive me for sometimes being kind of a jerk just like I can forgive you for not always leaving enough comments telling me that while seemingly aloof, I come off as endearing most of the time.
I feel like 2007 is going to be my year.
(I don't know what that means.)
For those geeks who care, the mainpage of the website has been updated so you can all catch up on my final Movie List/Reading List/Theatre List for the year and see how I spent 2006 being a total and utter loser. You can also click the bottom and see previous years' noteworthy lists of amazingness. (By previous years, I mean 2005 since that's when I started keeping track SHUT UP SO WHAT?!)
I may be taking a break from posting for awhile. Though as soon as I say that, I'm sure something witty and imaginative will come to me and you will find eight blog posts here by Monday. But generally, life is hectic and I want to make sure that the things I write are representative of the person that I'm trying to be. I hope you all had a great holiday and I'm going to go brush my teeth OVER and OVER and OVER again because oh my God, an ELECTRIC TOOTHBRUSH you guys!!! Another amazing invention that allows me pure bliss for half the work.
Wait. That was totally not representative of the person I'm trying to be. The person I'm trying to be would've had an electric toothbrush YEARS ago. HELL, the person I'm trying to be INVENTED THE ELECTRIC TOOTHBRUSH.
All who think I need to be heavily medicated for my own good, please raise your hand.
Good. That's what I thought. Cheers.
It's been crazy these past few weeks as my body adjusts to the phenomenon that is "spending prolonged periods of time with my family". The holidays were wonderful; I got a crapload of great music, a plethora of novels to dig into and an electric toothbrush which, WOW! I've actually been late for appointments and meetings because I'm too busy brushing my teeth over and over and over again...
I've been working a lot which has been really good for me and I'm slowly getting back into the swing of things. I caught up on some theatre too, which is lovely. Apparently, I had to make up for only seeing three Broadway shows in 11 months, so in a week, I saw three more. I've been on one audition already and now that I've gone to one, I'm officially back in the saddle, back to the grind, back to wait...what am I talking about?
New Year's Resolutions Include:
- Stop going out in public in sweatpants. Ugh.
- Stop being an old lady. i.e./Go out more, make plans with people, solidify friendships, etc. Basically, stop being so anal about staying in and getting enough sleep and putting on that yummy-smelling face cream so you don't get wrinkles. That is for people who are old. Like, 30. Not for twenty-somethings. Twenty-somethings PARTY. So. Go party. Or something.
- Stop making jokes about being boyfriend-less. It makes you sound desperate and unhappy and in reality, you aren't, so shut up, no one cares.
- Stop beating yourself up.
- Eat more fiber. Eat more vegetables. Teddy Grahams do not a meal make.
Which brings me to an announcement. A HUGE announcement and after I announce it (with flair and aplomb!), I'm probably not going to touch on it for awhile because I've noticed that as soon as I say it, people get all defensive and crazy and jump down my throat and yell at me about it when most of the time, they have NO IDEA WHAT THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT. Granted, you can't yell at me on my blog so...I think this should be a rather peaceful situation and by peaceful I mean, I get to write and you get to read silently to yourself and nod with a smile on your face and think, "Gosh, she's just so darn cute!"
Apparently, veganism IS contagious. I've been doing a lot of reading and after my Lemonade Cleanse, I decided to eliminate meat and dairy products from my diet until further notice. My mom and dad were really supportive at Christmas (I decided to go vegan BEFORE the holidays so that it couldn't be a New Year's resolution that was easily broken by February) and though I did indulge a few times in some non-vegany goodness, most of the time, I stuck to my guns and it's been working well for me ever since. My little brother, Jem, has been having the most fun with it and I appreciate that. While out for Vietnamese food for my father's birthday, in between forkfuls of steak he would rub his stomach and call down the table to me:
"Laura, this is AMAZING..."
"The steak?"
"No. The poison that I keep shoving down my digestive tract. MMMMM. I can feel it FERMENTING."
Granted that is sort of an exaggeration of conversation because Jem doesn't have much of a vocabulary. (Hi Jem! Thanks for the Ben Folds piano book! Kisses!)
Anyway. Yeah. I'm one of THOSE people. Save the animals and all that.
So. I'm sorry this post has gone from Lame to LAMEST. You know I'm searching for topics when I start blabbing about a dairy-free diet. Onto something else. Something somewhat meaningful:
I want to seriously state that if in the past, I have ever offended you with an entry on this website, I apologize. I want to think that at my age, I know what is appropriate but sometimes I make mistakes. It was brought to my attention over the holiday that many members of my extended family read this blog and while I expected that, since it's on the internet and well, I'm kind of famous, I sincerely don't always take into account the impression that I paint of them
I'm not talking about my parents here because they seem to enjoy every single slandering second of fame I give them. But there are others who pointed out a few words here and there that did not appear very flattering. And though no names were mentioned or other specificities given, it still wasn't exactly right of me. So, I hope in this New Year, you can forgive me for sometimes being kind of a jerk just like I can forgive you for not always leaving enough comments telling me that while seemingly aloof, I come off as endearing most of the time.
I feel like 2007 is going to be my year.
(I don't know what that means.)
For those geeks who care, the mainpage of the website has been updated so you can all catch up on my final Movie List/Reading List/Theatre List for the year and see how I spent 2006 being a total and utter loser. You can also click the bottom and see previous years' noteworthy lists of amazingness. (By previous years, I mean 2005 since that's when I started keeping track SHUT UP SO WHAT?!)
I may be taking a break from posting for awhile. Though as soon as I say that, I'm sure something witty and imaginative will come to me and you will find eight blog posts here by Monday. But generally, life is hectic and I want to make sure that the things I write are representative of the person that I'm trying to be. I hope you all had a great holiday and I'm going to go brush my teeth OVER and OVER and OVER again because oh my God, an ELECTRIC TOOTHBRUSH you guys!!! Another amazing invention that allows me pure bliss for half the work.
Wait. That was totally not representative of the person I'm trying to be. The person I'm trying to be would've had an electric toothbrush YEARS ago. HELL, the person I'm trying to be INVENTED THE ELECTRIC TOOTHBRUSH.
All who think I need to be heavily medicated for my own good, please raise your hand.
Good. That's what I thought. Cheers.
17 Comments:
1. yes, you are a monumental jerk and i'd prefer it if you'd quit bad-mouthing me on your blog. bitch.
2. j/k, j/k, lol.
3. i'm sorry for writing the word bitch, aunt rita.
4. for some reason i thought you wrote "eclectic" toothbrush. for some other reason i instantly thought of my nephew's toothbrush which, when you push a button and start to brush, you can hear queen's "we will rock you"... wait for it... INSIDE YOUR HEAD!!! i admit that i tried it once but quickly pulled away as i felt a tumor forming on my frontal lobe.
5. i don't know where the frontal lobe is nor what it does. it stays.
6. yay for you and your veganism. my sister had to go vegan unintentionally when her entire body broke out in severe excema after a trip to france. too much cheese, perhaps? my other sister and her husband have recently gone completely organic and have filled my brain with enough anti-fda, anti-mass-foodstuff-provider information to make one vomit an entire "unhappy" chicken.
7. dude, i'm younger than you and am SO much more of an old lady. if being a mother wasn't trippy enough, i'm gonna be a WIFE soon. cripes.
8. it was fantabulous to see you last week - i missed you! we're going to try to have an engagement party in may at the new house, so don't start your one-woman sold-out show until after then, k?
9. smooches.
ps who was taking pictures during karaoke? i would love to see them...
Regina--
I have plenty of reading paraphernalia to feed the "FIGHT THE MAN" mentality that your sister is helping to perpetuate. We all love a good conspiracy, eh? Woot for vegans.
I just flickrd all the pics from Christmas, New Year's and yes, our dazzling night of karaoke. They are on the flickr mainpage and organized in the set "Out and About". They are pretty hilarious and I'm just sad I didn't take more. Hope I see you soon!
KARAOKE, are you freaking SERIOUS??
If it was the night that we all went to Benny's Burritos and then Brett and I peaced out at like 11:00, then I outdo you all in Old-Lady-Ness. So there.
Why would you want "We Will Rock You" to play while brushing your teeth? Wouldn't it be more meaningful if it played, like, "Eat the Rich" or something?
You are all sick! I am ROTFLM...BOOTY off reading Regina's comments. And, yes, Sr. Rita forgives you for the b word...but I must confess I called Debbie that during an intense games of Nerts which we could blame Tommy for. And Ashley, don't make me start creating tonic drinks for you to keep you up until midnight or later! C'mon girl, get with it!
Happy New Year to all you silly twenty-somethings. I do hope Laura can find time to blog...as he dad says, "You really don't have to sleep between the hours of 2 a.m. and 4 a.m. Think of all you could be accomplishing...then I shot him!
Love,
The Mom
Aunt Rita, if you made me a tonic drink I would totally drink it for you!! Unless it had diet Coke, in which case I would DIE.
Oh, and Laura: FREE SOCKS! Sort of like "Free Babies."
Teddy Grahams do indeed make a meal. Especially if you eat them like cereal with milk (or, in your case, soymilk or ricemilk or some other tasteless substitute).
You go, Deanna! Teddy Grahams dipped in chocolate (considered a vegetable since it is a bean, hence, a veggie or even a legume???) and then the milk. Alas, Laura is avoiding dairy, and Teddy Grahams and all kinds of stuff. Oh, in that case all the more for us to eat!
I'll take her servings. Alas, again, she will be healthier and look lovelier...darn! Dark chocolate as an anti-oxidant, anyone?
Dear The Mom, A.K.A Aunt Rita and/or Mrs. Dlug,
On behalf of the Vegan Society of Astoria, Queens, I must amend the above statement:
"Alas, Laura is avoiding dairy, and Teddy Grahams and all kinds of stuff."
In fact, both "Teddy Grahams" and "all kinds of stuff" ARE indeed vegan...and delicious I might add. We do offer a Mothers Of Vegan Actors support group dinner on Wednesday evenings. This week we'll be serving veal and macaroni and cheese. If you're available please RSVP.
Sincerely,
Vegan Mike, A.K.A That boy who you saw the big Christmas tree with.
I say to you all...
I think I win the old lady award because...
1. I pratically have 3 children. They all ask me questions about food and social engagements before they ask their mom. Oh, and the youngest thinks its fun to call me mom in public (not so fun on my end)
2. On Christmas vacation I went to bed earlier than my grandmother every night.
3. Laura had to explain to me what ROTFL meant.
4. I really did stay home the other night to wash my hair.
I could go on, but I feel there is no need.
And I'm gonna be 50? Does that make Alayna 70? AND I knew ROTFL???? Just be glad I am NOT ROTFLMA off because with the size of my dupa, it would still be coming off a week later. Now you have to ask Laura what "dupa" means. Actually, ask her cousin, Deanna!
And, hey, Mike, go ahead and kill baby deer...I LOVE VEAL AND I WILL SHOT IT FROM THE HOUSETOPS, though not in California which must have the highest concentration of vegans. Then again, if they are the really laid back kind of Californians, they probably won't do anything violent to me except throw grapes?
What am I doing this late at night and where IS Alayna??? SLEEPING????
:P
Rita, I believe that is "ROTFLMDO".
Unfortunately Teddy Grahams are merely vegetarian and not vegan as bees were tortured in the aquisition of the honey used therein.
Dark chocolate is vegan and therefore must be a vegetable, no?
Finally, the words veal and venison sound remotely like "vegan" so they're safe to eat in any diet. Just ask Uncle Lee.
So, as an ex-vegan-Californian I say, "Night, night, old ladies!"
Wait a second, Rita. You're turning 50? Holy crap, that means I met you when you were only 20. Damn I'm getting old... I better go work on my will.
Wow guys. I leave you alone for a few days and look what happens!?
Yes, mom, Teddy Grahams are vegan though Deanna has an excellent point about the torture of bees.
Mom--between your typos and your use of AOL lingo such as ROTFL, I think it's quite possible you gave the internet an EXACT replica of your energy in real life via the computer. No easy task, my good lady.
Ash--we did indeed do karaoke the night you left early. Or I should say, Tom, David and Regina did karaoke and I flipped leisurely through the 15,000 songs and decided that precisely NONE OF THEM WERE GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME.
Because I am psychotic.
Mike--Thanks for coming to my aid. I had no idea people were all up in my grill about Teddy Grahams. Do you honestly think I would've decided to go vegan if I had to give them up?! NO.NEVER.
Regina, your eclectic toothbrush comment had me ROTFL.
Wait. What?
I have no clue what dupa technically means, but I think I figured it out. I was asleep when you wrote that last night rita...and that is where I am going right now. So goodnight.
dupa = Polish word for butt, see also "Words Used Excessively and Inappropriately in the Dlug Household"
AND Deanna will appreciate this inappropriate Polish word which describes ALL of you:
"Goppa" or is it phonetically: GAH-Pa?
Night! zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
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