Master Cleanse
So, Margot and I have begun The Lemonade Diet or "Master Cleanse". I tried it once before this past summer and lasted 12 hours. I'm happy to report that I'm currently on Day #4--nothing in my system except a lovely cocktail of lemon juice, maple syrup and a sprinkling of cayenne pepper. I haven't weighed myself yet but let's just say I'm disappearing fast. Obviously, the pounds will pack back on once I start eating solid foods again but right now, it feels pretty darn good. It's kind of empowering to be around tons of food and say No Thanks! I've got to sip this here lemonade!
And woah did that just sound like I am the poster child for anorexia...
But the suffering...ohhhh the suffering. Troy made CHRISTMAS COOKIES the other night. WITH HOMEMADE FROSTING. And I had to stand by and watch and casually sip my lemonade because...I don't know. I'm a glutton for punishment?
Alayna and I got student rush tickets to Les Miz tonight. Why? How? Because I carry around my unexpired college ID, suckers, that's why. $26 tickets baby, for me, the backpack-sporting college student. Even better, our original seats were in the last row of the orchestra, which wasn't bad, considering that I was the FIRST ONE IN THE BATHROOM AT INTERMISSION! First one! I know! I KNOW! Rockstar! BUT, Alayna was sitting behind a man with a rather large cranium, making it difficult to see parts of the show and since one of the ushers noticed this, he pulled us aside at intermission to tell us he changed our seats.
To Row C.
Les Miz! 3rd Row! 26 DOLLARS.
And oh my God, I know it was just on Broadway like yesterday, but I love this show. I can't remember if I saw it three or four times before it closed. I think four? Either way, it's such lovely Broadway perfection. Not much has changed since I saw it last. Well. Except for the fact that at various points throughout the show, I couldn't help but think to myself, "Self, those revoluationary boys are gooooood lookin'. Damn." And they were. I mean, singing men waving a red flag around in tight pants? What's not to love?!
And did I mention it was all because of my college ID from eight million years ago?
Because I am in college, don't you know it!
Look at me while I scribble something flirty on your wipe-off board and meet you in the dining hall at 5:30 for french fries and chocolate transfatty cake! Woooo keg party!
I miss college, you guys.
But more importantly, I miss sleeping. Apparently, I have a tendency to overschedule.
Oh and also, I miss solid food. Like rice. And broccoli. And PANCAKES.
Guess what I don't miss?
THE BABIES!!!! 'Cuz I'm back to work and I get to kiss them and hug them and smother them with love ALL DAY LONG.
And also sip lemonade as the little ones nibble on french fries and macaroni and cheese.
Please, Lord, get me through this....
And woah did that just sound like I am the poster child for anorexia...
But the suffering...ohhhh the suffering. Troy made CHRISTMAS COOKIES the other night. WITH HOMEMADE FROSTING. And I had to stand by and watch and casually sip my lemonade because...I don't know. I'm a glutton for punishment?
Alayna and I got student rush tickets to Les Miz tonight. Why? How? Because I carry around my unexpired college ID, suckers, that's why. $26 tickets baby, for me, the backpack-sporting college student. Even better, our original seats were in the last row of the orchestra, which wasn't bad, considering that I was the FIRST ONE IN THE BATHROOM AT INTERMISSION! First one! I know! I KNOW! Rockstar! BUT, Alayna was sitting behind a man with a rather large cranium, making it difficult to see parts of the show and since one of the ushers noticed this, he pulled us aside at intermission to tell us he changed our seats.
To Row C.
Les Miz! 3rd Row! 26 DOLLARS.
And oh my God, I know it was just on Broadway like yesterday, but I love this show. I can't remember if I saw it three or four times before it closed. I think four? Either way, it's such lovely Broadway perfection. Not much has changed since I saw it last. Well. Except for the fact that at various points throughout the show, I couldn't help but think to myself, "Self, those revoluationary boys are gooooood lookin'. Damn." And they were. I mean, singing men waving a red flag around in tight pants? What's not to love?!
And did I mention it was all because of my college ID from eight million years ago?
Because I am in college, don't you know it!
Look at me while I scribble something flirty on your wipe-off board and meet you in the dining hall at 5:30 for french fries and chocolate transfatty cake! Woooo keg party!
I miss college, you guys.
But more importantly, I miss sleeping. Apparently, I have a tendency to overschedule.
Oh and also, I miss solid food. Like rice. And broccoli. And PANCAKES.
Guess what I don't miss?
THE BABIES!!!! 'Cuz I'm back to work and I get to kiss them and hug them and smother them with love ALL DAY LONG.
And also sip lemonade as the little ones nibble on french fries and macaroni and cheese.
Please, Lord, get me through this....
2 Comments:
Please kiss and hug those boys for me! Tell them that I miss them and can't wait to see them!
Might I suggest the cornmeal diet after you're done with the lemonade to fully cleanse your intestinal tract?
Then you can proffer yerself up for someone to saute you with butter and garlic. Now, where did my snail fork go...
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