Every Day A Little Death
Something happened and I'm standing in a mall finding it very hard to breathe. I might even hit someone. HARD.
Wait. Let's back up.
As they would say down here in the South, my laptop up went and broke.
Why? I do not know.
We've had some wireless internet issues with it for awhile and by "we", I mean me and the Lord God Jesus Christ.
But last night, I opened it up and there was no screen. Well. There was a screen. 1/4 of my computer contained the regular screen, the rest was white with squiggly ink stains and smushed writing.
I have just been informed by the "genius" at the supposed "Genius Bar" here in Buckhead, Atlanta in the stupid Lenox Square Everyone Drives A Bentley Mall, that it will cost $800 to fix.
It will take 7-10 days.
They will have to mail it back home to NY.
But what about my Applecare? I say.
What about the fact that I JUST BOUGHT IT AT THE BEGINNING OF SEPTEMBER? I scream.
What about the fact that I'm in freaking GEORGIA and y'all are not GENIUSES because a GENIUS would not charge me $800 to fix my BRAND NEW COMPUTER.
The "genius" helper with black thick-rimmed geek glasses informs me that Applecare does not cover accidental damage and that is what happened. My LCD is broken and I have to pay to fix it. Because it was accidental.
And so I'm standing in the Apple Store, waiting for Margot to come back from the pharmacy.
I just spent the afternoon with her at an Urgent Care facility where she was diagnosed with bronchial pneumonia.
This has not been the greatest day, you could say.
I'm waiting for her to come back so that I can stop crying. I wish I could tell you that I could keep my shit together in front of the geniuses at the Apple Store but I can't. I keep thinking about the money, God the money, and my beautiful little computer and the pictures that I took and how that man at the Genius Bar with the beard told me there was a SLIGHT POSSIBILITY that when they fix it, they could erase the hard drive WOOPS! and I think about the HOURS, no, DAYS that I spent before leaving for tour filling my beautiful Macbook up with such beautiful files--pictures and music and programs. And I can't breathe.
But Margot will get here soon and she can tell me that it's fine, it's okay, as I blubber on about JUST getting my credit card balance down to $400 and that if my calculations are correct, the new balance will be over $1200.
And oh WAIT, let me tell you that that's what I PAID FOR THE DAMN MACBOOK IN THE FIRST PLACE. (A MONTH AGO!!! JUST A MONTH AGO!!!)
SO, ESSENTIALLY, Mac People, when I buy a Mac, you are charging me $800 for the damn DISPLAY and $400 for the rest of the crap that's inside it.
And guys?
I thought we were good together.
I love my ipod and my iTunes and the swanky setup of your stores. I love your commercials and the ubercool geeks that work for you.
But though I love you, dear Apple Product People, I do not have to LIKE YOU RIGHT NOW. In fact, I hate you.
I hate you because this has been a very bad week of tour life. A week where people pull me aside at 7 am in the morning, before I've had breakfast, to talk about the fact that I did not validate their feelings. A week where people were bickering and getting on each other's nerves. A week where my checking account went down to $150. A week where my thumb was slammed in between the van and a huge set piece made of wood.
A week where I was beginning to pay off my debt and up the amount of money in my savings account. Hell, I was beginning to think what a breeeeeeze Christmas shopping was going to be because HELLO! I'M ALMOST RICH!
Until now.
I do not know when I will get my computer again. If my parents are able to come visit me on tour, I'm sure they will bring it. Otherwise, it will stay in New York until I return on December 10th. E-mail will be checked when I can borrow others' computers and check it. I do not know when flickr will be updated again with pictures. I do not know when I will be able to update this either.
I'm so sorry to get all bitter here but what else can I be? And it's a damn shame too 'cuz I had some damn funny stories for you.
Like, for instance, how my father teaches 8th grade math in a ghetto school district on Long Island.
And like how yesterday, according to MySpace, it was "Kick A Boy In The Balls" Day.
And how he broke up six fights because his kids totally put that day into action, right there in Robert Moses Middle School.
Pretty remarkable, huh? I want to think no one has it as bad as I do right now but upon further reflection, I bet the victims of that MySpace holiday are in a lot more pain.
PHYSICAL pain, anyway.
Not Mac pain. Apple Agony, if you will.
I love you guys and miss you guys and if I saw a familiar face right now, I would squeeze the life out of you and wet your t-shirt with my tears.
And then ask you to pay off my credit card.
Because you love me that much, right?
Wait. Let's back up.
As they would say down here in the South, my laptop up went and broke.
Why? I do not know.
We've had some wireless internet issues with it for awhile and by "we", I mean me and the Lord God Jesus Christ.
But last night, I opened it up and there was no screen. Well. There was a screen. 1/4 of my computer contained the regular screen, the rest was white with squiggly ink stains and smushed writing.
I have just been informed by the "genius" at the supposed "Genius Bar" here in Buckhead, Atlanta in the stupid Lenox Square Everyone Drives A Bentley Mall, that it will cost $800 to fix.
It will take 7-10 days.
They will have to mail it back home to NY.
But what about my Applecare? I say.
What about the fact that I JUST BOUGHT IT AT THE BEGINNING OF SEPTEMBER? I scream.
What about the fact that I'm in freaking GEORGIA and y'all are not GENIUSES because a GENIUS would not charge me $800 to fix my BRAND NEW COMPUTER.
The "genius" helper with black thick-rimmed geek glasses informs me that Applecare does not cover accidental damage and that is what happened. My LCD is broken and I have to pay to fix it. Because it was accidental.
And so I'm standing in the Apple Store, waiting for Margot to come back from the pharmacy.
I just spent the afternoon with her at an Urgent Care facility where she was diagnosed with bronchial pneumonia.
This has not been the greatest day, you could say.
I'm waiting for her to come back so that I can stop crying. I wish I could tell you that I could keep my shit together in front of the geniuses at the Apple Store but I can't. I keep thinking about the money, God the money, and my beautiful little computer and the pictures that I took and how that man at the Genius Bar with the beard told me there was a SLIGHT POSSIBILITY that when they fix it, they could erase the hard drive WOOPS! and I think about the HOURS, no, DAYS that I spent before leaving for tour filling my beautiful Macbook up with such beautiful files--pictures and music and programs. And I can't breathe.
But Margot will get here soon and she can tell me that it's fine, it's okay, as I blubber on about JUST getting my credit card balance down to $400 and that if my calculations are correct, the new balance will be over $1200.
And oh WAIT, let me tell you that that's what I PAID FOR THE DAMN MACBOOK IN THE FIRST PLACE. (A MONTH AGO!!! JUST A MONTH AGO!!!)
SO, ESSENTIALLY, Mac People, when I buy a Mac, you are charging me $800 for the damn DISPLAY and $400 for the rest of the crap that's inside it.
And guys?
I thought we were good together.
I love my ipod and my iTunes and the swanky setup of your stores. I love your commercials and the ubercool geeks that work for you.
But though I love you, dear Apple Product People, I do not have to LIKE YOU RIGHT NOW. In fact, I hate you.
I hate you because this has been a very bad week of tour life. A week where people pull me aside at 7 am in the morning, before I've had breakfast, to talk about the fact that I did not validate their feelings. A week where people were bickering and getting on each other's nerves. A week where my checking account went down to $150. A week where my thumb was slammed in between the van and a huge set piece made of wood.
A week where I was beginning to pay off my debt and up the amount of money in my savings account. Hell, I was beginning to think what a breeeeeeze Christmas shopping was going to be because HELLO! I'M ALMOST RICH!
Until now.
I do not know when I will get my computer again. If my parents are able to come visit me on tour, I'm sure they will bring it. Otherwise, it will stay in New York until I return on December 10th. E-mail will be checked when I can borrow others' computers and check it. I do not know when flickr will be updated again with pictures. I do not know when I will be able to update this either.
I'm so sorry to get all bitter here but what else can I be? And it's a damn shame too 'cuz I had some damn funny stories for you.
Like, for instance, how my father teaches 8th grade math in a ghetto school district on Long Island.
And like how yesterday, according to MySpace, it was "Kick A Boy In The Balls" Day.
And how he broke up six fights because his kids totally put that day into action, right there in Robert Moses Middle School.
Pretty remarkable, huh? I want to think no one has it as bad as I do right now but upon further reflection, I bet the victims of that MySpace holiday are in a lot more pain.
PHYSICAL pain, anyway.
Not Mac pain. Apple Agony, if you will.
I love you guys and miss you guys and if I saw a familiar face right now, I would squeeze the life out of you and wet your t-shirt with my tears.
And then ask you to pay off my credit card.
Because you love me that much, right?
5 Comments:
I LOVE YOU THAT MUCH!!!
Aunt Rita, I hear a Christmas present calling your name... *la la la laptop bag!* Now, With Extra Padding For Screens! Also, Actor-Proof!
Laura, hope your sweet little macbook gets better soon, it will be okay. And life will march on and you will survive, girl!
xoxoxo!
Dude! I totally had it IN a laptop bag!!! ACK! LIFE! The world! conspiring against me!
Well, that's what you get for buying a Mac. Or, using it to tap dance on.
Let me know if you need me to spot you a loan (interest free)... it's for the greater good of humanity.
Note to everyone:
We are currently negotiating to sell Jeremy in order to reimburse Laura for the financial setback AND the emotional pain caused by Apple and their ridiculous warranty program.
I, for one, am content to sit at home and check airfares to see if we can visit Laura on my PC that has WINDOWS, with all its glitches and paralyzing pauses and failures to boot, log off and do all sorts of normal functions.
Alas, there are no takers for Jeremy, sooooo, we need to work on Plan B. I'll let you know what that is as soon as I figure it out.
We love you, Laura, and we hate you MAC!!!
Love and kisses and hugs,
Mom
Despite the fact that this post is old, I would be remiss if I neglected to bid on Jem.
Do I hear $20? I'll pay $25 if he does laundry (mine.)
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