Working Hard For The Money, Dee Deet, Dee Deet
My Life: Working 65 hour weeks with less than six hours of sleep a night, spending 8:30-5:15 at the office, commuting downtown to the twins from 6 until 9 or 10 or maybe midnight. Six hours of sleep seems like it could be fine, for any normal person. But for me to function properly, I need a good 8 or 10 and it needs to be uninterrupted. As it happens, I've been sleeping so lightly lately that I'm easily awakened by...
My air conditioner.
WHAT!? I don't know why, either! This has never happened before!
I tried shutting it off but then I'm sweating so badly, I can't sleep because I'm just too hot. I find it uncanny that I can fall asleep to the quiet hum of the AC, drifting off to Neverland with ponies, only to bolt upright a few hours later, clutching my pillow and screaming WHY IS SOMEONE JACKHAMMERING IN MY ROOM?! WHY WON'T IT GO AWAY!? SWEET JESUS PLEASE! I do not know how to muffle the sound or soothe myself back to sleep.
I also do not know how to stop taking Crazy Pills.
Point of the story is: I'm tired. On top of my usual corporate/babysitting work week, I went away with the twins to their house upstate from Sunday-Tuesday. You got that. 72 hours of craziness with adorable baby beans! You know, though, they stop being adorable when you can hear them screaming at 3:30 in the morning. They often roll over and hit into each other during their sleep, causing at least one to wake up screaming his head off. This seems perfectly logical to me because obviously, there are people with KNIVES threatening to cut him in his sleep. KNIVES. Suffice it to say, the screaming is loud and it is startling.
What was also startling about being upstate? Glad you asked.
I slept on a really high bed that was missing a mattress. So, I was given an air mattress to put on top of the boxspring in order for me to have a somewhat comfortable sleep and not have to feel like I was sleeping on concrete. I appreciated this gesture. For a time.
I soon realized in the middle of the night, amid the twins maniacal outbursts, that the air mattress must have had a hole in it somewhere. This caused me to wake up periodically to find myself deflating. By 4 or 5 am, I didn't feel like I was sleeping on a lovely firm air mattress; I felt like I was sleeping on a slab at the morgue, with some sticky rubber underneath me added for good measure.
My next evening off is Friday, July 14th. (Flag Day.) My next full DAY off is Sunday, July 16th. I'd like to point out that everyone should feel bad for me, if you aren't already. I'd like to know why God decided that I should have to work for a living. Or maybe ask him about these pesky "bill" things I'm supposed to be paying.
Let's compare the above description of my life to my roommate's. Shall we?
My Roommate: Comes back from tour and goes to the gym a lot. Is invited to audition for another show less than two weeks after being back in the city. He auditions. Books it. And is granted his Equity card in the process. Also, fills sink up with dirty dishes, leaves them there for three days.
My roommate is ridiculously talented. He is a male. He is gorgeous. His voice is the gentle soaring beautiful voice of Jesus Christ. (If Jesus was gay and into musical theater of course. Which, who knows?!) My roommate deserves every show he books. He deserves his Equity card and I will see him on Broadway very shortly, looking hot and mesmerizing.
You have to understand though, in my exhausted, struggling to pay my bills state, that I was a little disheartened and frustrated. I'm not supposed to compare my success with other people's, we're all on a different path, I'll get there sooner or later, blah blah. That is just a bunch of crap people tell you so they don't have to listen to you bitch and moan. This is why I have a blog. So I can bitch and moan in between thinking positively that things are SUPER! I was trying NOT to compare myself to my roommate but I think it's safe to say that for a day or so I felt like I SUCKED and that I was a complete and total failure.
But I think I'm back to normal now. We took the babies in the pool for a swim and while I was holding Owen, I blew bubbles under the water, making him laugh hysterically. His gutteral giggles had me cracking up with him, especially when he'd laugh so hard that he'd fall forward and press his little forehead to mine.
While the babies napped, I swam some laps alone, I tried to nap, I took long hot showers. And at the end of my days upstate, I crawled into bed around 9:15, exhausted and willing to put things in perspective. Maybe that's all it takes: Laying in a bed in New Paltz, realizing life isn't so bad, listening to whimpers of startled twins and the gentle wheeze of air being let out of the mattress underneath you.
Peace.
My air conditioner.
WHAT!? I don't know why, either! This has never happened before!
I tried shutting it off but then I'm sweating so badly, I can't sleep because I'm just too hot. I find it uncanny that I can fall asleep to the quiet hum of the AC, drifting off to Neverland with ponies, only to bolt upright a few hours later, clutching my pillow and screaming WHY IS SOMEONE JACKHAMMERING IN MY ROOM?! WHY WON'T IT GO AWAY!? SWEET JESUS PLEASE! I do not know how to muffle the sound or soothe myself back to sleep.
I also do not know how to stop taking Crazy Pills.
Point of the story is: I'm tired. On top of my usual corporate/babysitting work week, I went away with the twins to their house upstate from Sunday-Tuesday. You got that. 72 hours of craziness with adorable baby beans! You know, though, they stop being adorable when you can hear them screaming at 3:30 in the morning. They often roll over and hit into each other during their sleep, causing at least one to wake up screaming his head off. This seems perfectly logical to me because obviously, there are people with KNIVES threatening to cut him in his sleep. KNIVES. Suffice it to say, the screaming is loud and it is startling.
What was also startling about being upstate? Glad you asked.
I slept on a really high bed that was missing a mattress. So, I was given an air mattress to put on top of the boxspring in order for me to have a somewhat comfortable sleep and not have to feel like I was sleeping on concrete. I appreciated this gesture. For a time.
I soon realized in the middle of the night, amid the twins maniacal outbursts, that the air mattress must have had a hole in it somewhere. This caused me to wake up periodically to find myself deflating. By 4 or 5 am, I didn't feel like I was sleeping on a lovely firm air mattress; I felt like I was sleeping on a slab at the morgue, with some sticky rubber underneath me added for good measure.
My next evening off is Friday, July 14th. (Flag Day.) My next full DAY off is Sunday, July 16th. I'd like to point out that everyone should feel bad for me, if you aren't already. I'd like to know why God decided that I should have to work for a living. Or maybe ask him about these pesky "bill" things I'm supposed to be paying.
Let's compare the above description of my life to my roommate's. Shall we?
My Roommate: Comes back from tour and goes to the gym a lot. Is invited to audition for another show less than two weeks after being back in the city. He auditions. Books it. And is granted his Equity card in the process. Also, fills sink up with dirty dishes, leaves them there for three days.
My roommate is ridiculously talented. He is a male. He is gorgeous. His voice is the gentle soaring beautiful voice of Jesus Christ. (If Jesus was gay and into musical theater of course. Which, who knows?!) My roommate deserves every show he books. He deserves his Equity card and I will see him on Broadway very shortly, looking hot and mesmerizing.
You have to understand though, in my exhausted, struggling to pay my bills state, that I was a little disheartened and frustrated. I'm not supposed to compare my success with other people's, we're all on a different path, I'll get there sooner or later, blah blah. That is just a bunch of crap people tell you so they don't have to listen to you bitch and moan. This is why I have a blog. So I can bitch and moan in between thinking positively that things are SUPER! I was trying NOT to compare myself to my roommate but I think it's safe to say that for a day or so I felt like I SUCKED and that I was a complete and total failure.
But I think I'm back to normal now. We took the babies in the pool for a swim and while I was holding Owen, I blew bubbles under the water, making him laugh hysterically. His gutteral giggles had me cracking up with him, especially when he'd laugh so hard that he'd fall forward and press his little forehead to mine.
While the babies napped, I swam some laps alone, I tried to nap, I took long hot showers. And at the end of my days upstate, I crawled into bed around 9:15, exhausted and willing to put things in perspective. Maybe that's all it takes: Laying in a bed in New Paltz, realizing life isn't so bad, listening to whimpers of startled twins and the gentle wheeze of air being let out of the mattress underneath you.
Peace.
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