And Now? The Spectrum Presents "The Life of Laura and Ashley: Part Une"
Yet another example of how people at 9-5 jobs rarely do any work whatsoever.
Chat With Ashley, via AIM, Approximately 2:30 pm
Ash: So, the hanging. Let it commence tonight.
Me: Okay, lemme know when/where.
Ash: Um, you are at 26 & 8th?
Ash: Do you want to meet at the snack shack? It's at 23rd and Madison Park and apparently IT. IS. AWESOME. So, I have not been there before and I take it you haven't either.
Me: OMG OMG OMG YES YES YES I HAVE HEARD SUCH GREAT THINGS
Ash: Also the cheapness of the snack shack, which I hear is off-the-charts cheap.
*Pause*
Ash: Also off-the charts? My earwax production, according to my ear doctor, whom I had to see this morning, and who proceeded to VACUUM EARWAX OUT OF MY EAR and because it is SO DISGUSTING I had to share it with you.
Me: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Are you The Sick?
Ash: No, but The Deaf when the earwax takes over my brain so now I can hear like EVERYTHING because of the vacuum in the ear canal thing and it is AMAZING. And also my doctor is really freaking cute.
Me: Get his number!
Ash: He is also middle-eastern-something. His name is like Alam Luwlkawi. I mean that's totally exactly it slash I have no fucking clue what his name was, but he was funny. And as he was doing the vacuuming, he kept saying "Wow, this is totally gross!"
Me: I love your segue into this conversation.
Ash: I had to bring it up because I am FASCINATED. Oh! and he told me to NEVER EVER EVER use q-tips
Me: OMG WHY!? I loveeeee q tips in my ears!
Ash: RIGHT?! MEEE TOOO! He said that they actually push the wax back in your ears and can cause (scary drum sounds) PERMANENT DAMAGE
Me: HOLY SHIT. That's scary.
Ash: And major blockages occur, and everyone is sad, and poor doctor Lallewarsi has to vacuum everyone's ears out, and what kind of shitty job would that be?
Me: So..you're just supposed to let the wax build and fall out?
Ash: Yes. That is it. Ew, and ew. So we are going to hang out tonight, yes?
Me: Yes, yes what time? I forgot what you said.
Ash: You are out at 5? So, how about 5:30.
Me: Ooo splendid. I shall go for a beautiful 5 pm walk to the shack. Shake shack? Or snack shack? Or shack shake shack?
Ash: I think you're right, shake shack. Shake-n-snack shack?
Me: Shack up shack?
Ash: YESSSS
Me: Shag 'n' snack shack? Shake 'n' shag shack?
Ash: How about just the LOVE SHACK (baby, love shack)
Me: TIN ROOF.
Me: Rusted.
Ash: And is it just me, or is "shack" the weirdest word in the world right now?
Me: Shack looks wrong. Damn, I am laughing outloud at this stupid company.
Ash: Sorry, at least you are hopefully making money?
Me: Yes, I am. For ONCE, I'm financially stable. GASP. So I'm gona sock it away and/or buy you a car.
Ash: HOORAY! Or maybe you could build a zipline that goes from my apartment to your apartment. That would be so convenient.
Me: I heart the zipline.
Ash: Did you ever do project adventure in high school? The zipline was like the final project, and it was awesome. But...sort of anticlimactic.
Me:I kind of want to zipline now.
Ash:I ALWAYS want to zipline
Me: We had a zipline on our 6th grade trip to Frost Valley and I couldn't do it because I broke my foot/arm and my gym teacher veto-ed my zipline action. I cried REALLY hard but on the inside? I was happy 'cuz I was freaking SCARED. It was like a zillion feet up in nature and shit.
Ash: Awww yeah I know but it was SO FUN and scary! Like a roller coaster. Lori and I lived on the top floor of our dorm sophomore year, and not only did we have to walk down a million flights of stairs to get to the ground floor, but then we had to walk up a GIANT STEEP HILL to get to the rest of campus because the dorm was like in a ditch... so we totally talked about making a zipline from our room to "sea level"
Me: SEA LEVEL! BRILLIANT. That sounds like a really bad workout video--down the stairs, up a huge ass hill, etc.
Ash: It was.
Me: Daaaaamn.
Ash: And I still didn't lose weight. WTF? Maybe because of all the ice cream we holed up in the room.
Ash: But probably not.
Ash: No, that had nothing to do with it.
Me: Nope, not at all.
Ash: Wutev. I like Chunky Monkey. So?
Me: Dude, Phish Food. All about it. Or 1) Anything involving cookie dough 2) Anything involving peanut butter 3g) Anything involving mint + chocolate chips
Ash: 3) anything involving brownie in any form (dough, batter, chunks). Maybe that's 4. I lost count cause I was drooling.
Me: Ooooooo brownie. So into warm brownie + cold ice cream.
Me: Why did I say cold ice cream? Isn't it a given that it's always cold?
Ash: Not if you're my brother, who used to mandate that his ice cream be microwaved because it was too cold.
Me: My little brother nukes his ice cream.
Ash: WEIRD!
Me: It's a little brother thing.
Ash: Must be a little brother thing.
Me: Those freaking FREAKS.
And on and on until we got on to other topics including life, love and relationships, kegstands and my crimped hair. (It really is crimped today. I don't know why.)
The End.
Peace.
Chat With Ashley, via AIM, Approximately 2:30 pm
Ash: So, the hanging. Let it commence tonight.
Me: Okay, lemme know when/where.
Ash: Um, you are at 26 & 8th?
Ash: Do you want to meet at the snack shack? It's at 23rd and Madison Park and apparently IT. IS. AWESOME. So, I have not been there before and I take it you haven't either.
Me: OMG OMG OMG YES YES YES I HAVE HEARD SUCH GREAT THINGS
Ash: Also the cheapness of the snack shack, which I hear is off-the-charts cheap.
*Pause*
Ash: Also off-the charts? My earwax production, according to my ear doctor, whom I had to see this morning, and who proceeded to VACUUM EARWAX OUT OF MY EAR and because it is SO DISGUSTING I had to share it with you.
Me: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Are you The Sick?
Ash: No, but The Deaf when the earwax takes over my brain so now I can hear like EVERYTHING because of the vacuum in the ear canal thing and it is AMAZING. And also my doctor is really freaking cute.
Me: Get his number!
Ash: He is also middle-eastern-something. His name is like Alam Luwlkawi. I mean that's totally exactly it slash I have no fucking clue what his name was, but he was funny. And as he was doing the vacuuming, he kept saying "Wow, this is totally gross!"
Me: I love your segue into this conversation.
Ash: I had to bring it up because I am FASCINATED. Oh! and he told me to NEVER EVER EVER use q-tips
Me: OMG WHY!? I loveeeee q tips in my ears!
Ash: RIGHT?! MEEE TOOO! He said that they actually push the wax back in your ears and can cause (scary drum sounds) PERMANENT DAMAGE
Me: HOLY SHIT. That's scary.
Ash: And major blockages occur, and everyone is sad, and poor doctor Lallewarsi has to vacuum everyone's ears out, and what kind of shitty job would that be?
Me: So..you're just supposed to let the wax build and fall out?
Ash: Yes. That is it. Ew, and ew. So we are going to hang out tonight, yes?
Me: Yes, yes what time? I forgot what you said.
Ash: You are out at 5? So, how about 5:30.
Me: Ooo splendid. I shall go for a beautiful 5 pm walk to the shack. Shake shack? Or snack shack? Or shack shake shack?
Ash: I think you're right, shake shack. Shake-n-snack shack?
Me: Shack up shack?
Ash: YESSSS
Me: Shag 'n' snack shack? Shake 'n' shag shack?
Ash: How about just the LOVE SHACK (baby, love shack)
Me: TIN ROOF.
Me: Rusted.
Ash: And is it just me, or is "shack" the weirdest word in the world right now?
Me: Shack looks wrong. Damn, I am laughing outloud at this stupid company.
Ash: Sorry, at least you are hopefully making money?
Me: Yes, I am. For ONCE, I'm financially stable. GASP. So I'm gona sock it away and/or buy you a car.
Ash: HOORAY! Or maybe you could build a zipline that goes from my apartment to your apartment. That would be so convenient.
Me: I heart the zipline.
Ash: Did you ever do project adventure in high school? The zipline was like the final project, and it was awesome. But...sort of anticlimactic.
Me:I kind of want to zipline now.
Ash:I ALWAYS want to zipline
Me: We had a zipline on our 6th grade trip to Frost Valley and I couldn't do it because I broke my foot/arm and my gym teacher veto-ed my zipline action. I cried REALLY hard but on the inside? I was happy 'cuz I was freaking SCARED. It was like a zillion feet up in nature and shit.
Ash: Awww yeah I know but it was SO FUN and scary! Like a roller coaster. Lori and I lived on the top floor of our dorm sophomore year, and not only did we have to walk down a million flights of stairs to get to the ground floor, but then we had to walk up a GIANT STEEP HILL to get to the rest of campus because the dorm was like in a ditch... so we totally talked about making a zipline from our room to "sea level"
Me: SEA LEVEL! BRILLIANT. That sounds like a really bad workout video--down the stairs, up a huge ass hill, etc.
Ash: It was.
Me: Daaaaamn.
Ash: And I still didn't lose weight. WTF? Maybe because of all the ice cream we holed up in the room.
Ash: But probably not.
Ash: No, that had nothing to do with it.
Me: Nope, not at all.
Ash: Wutev. I like Chunky Monkey. So?
Me: Dude, Phish Food. All about it. Or 1) Anything involving cookie dough 2) Anything involving peanut butter 3g) Anything involving mint + chocolate chips
Ash: 3) anything involving brownie in any form (dough, batter, chunks). Maybe that's 4. I lost count cause I was drooling.
Me: Ooooooo brownie. So into warm brownie + cold ice cream.
Me: Why did I say cold ice cream? Isn't it a given that it's always cold?
Ash: Not if you're my brother, who used to mandate that his ice cream be microwaved because it was too cold.
Me: My little brother nukes his ice cream.
Ash: WEIRD!
Me: It's a little brother thing.
Ash: Must be a little brother thing.
Me: Those freaking FREAKS.
And on and on until we got on to other topics including life, love and relationships, kegstands and my crimped hair. (It really is crimped today. I don't know why.)
The End.
Peace.
1 Comments:
HAAAAAAAAA YES!! Loved hanging with you tonight, we will do it again soon! Everything about you is great and I love you.
Post a Comment
<< Home