P.S.
On Wednesday, after happily securing a nanny job, I drove to spend time with friends in Watertown, NY. I was eager to relax and I felt on top of the world having found a means of income after this terrible week. On the drive home on Sunday, I was pulled over right outside of Cortland for going 82 mph in a 65 mph zone. I was sobbing hysterically out of sheer anxiety and the cop seemed concerned. However, not concerned enough to rip up the ticket. He told me to relax and slow down, and get on my way.
I grabbed some tissues and wiped my face and continued on my way, still weepy and letting out the occasional hiccup. Not five minutes into the drive, another cop car descended from a sneaky place atop a grass hill and pulled me over. I began to laugh through my tears at the absurdity of it all and my hands were shaking uncontrollably. He came up to the car and was shocked at how upset I was. He asked if everything was alright and I stuttered out that I had just been pulled over five minutes before.
"For what, ma'am?"
"S-s-s-peeding, sir."
"Did you receive a ticket?"
"Yes, sir."
"May I see it?"
"Yes."
I handed over the yellow piece of incriminating evidence and he looked at it and handed it back.
"You weren't speeding when you passed me."
"I didn't think so sir."
"I thought you were on your cell phone....were you on your cell phone?"
"No sir, not at all. I'm just very upset right now."
"I see that. Calm down. You need to relax."
"Yes, sir, I know but it's just been a very horrible day."
"I see that. Relax. I'm not going to ticket you. Why don't you pull off the next exit and get yourself something cool to drink? Okay?"
"O-o-okay."
"Just not a beer."
He smiles.
"Okay."
He returns to his car and I drive on my way, feeling absolutely miserable. I drove the rest of the way home wondering how I would pay off such a ticket after talking to a friend who assured me it probably wouldn't be less than $300. Something inside calmed me down, I did have a job, I would be able to pay it.
I returned home Sunday evening and listened to a voicemail telling me that I was no longer needed for the nanny position, that someone else was found instead. I believe this is the point where I really broke down. If I didn't have a job, I wouldn't have driven to Watertown and spent so much money on gas and tolls. I thought I was secure and I went anyway, wasting at least 4-5 precious days when I could've been job searching. On top of that, I was ticketed, ALMOST ticketed twice.
A week has gone by. I'm back to square one. The heat continues, with no promise of breaking anytime soon. 92 as I sit here. I really can't afford air conditioning now. In fact, I can't really afford anything. I have an interview on Thursday. If it doesn't work out, I will be applying for restaurant jobs come this weekend. One more week, I tell myself, and then I will cave.
God is telling me something. The heat. The speeding ticket. The parking ticket. The unemployment. The continuous let-downs. I'm not really sure what He's planning for me and I'm trying so hard to hope it's something good. It's just that when you're sweating and tired and rubbed so raw that you burst into tears for absolutely no reason, it is very very hard to keep the faith.
Peace.
I grabbed some tissues and wiped my face and continued on my way, still weepy and letting out the occasional hiccup. Not five minutes into the drive, another cop car descended from a sneaky place atop a grass hill and pulled me over. I began to laugh through my tears at the absurdity of it all and my hands were shaking uncontrollably. He came up to the car and was shocked at how upset I was. He asked if everything was alright and I stuttered out that I had just been pulled over five minutes before.
"For what, ma'am?"
"S-s-s-peeding, sir."
"Did you receive a ticket?"
"Yes, sir."
"May I see it?"
"Yes."
I handed over the yellow piece of incriminating evidence and he looked at it and handed it back.
"You weren't speeding when you passed me."
"I didn't think so sir."
"I thought you were on your cell phone....were you on your cell phone?"
"No sir, not at all. I'm just very upset right now."
"I see that. Calm down. You need to relax."
"Yes, sir, I know but it's just been a very horrible day."
"I see that. Relax. I'm not going to ticket you. Why don't you pull off the next exit and get yourself something cool to drink? Okay?"
"O-o-okay."
"Just not a beer."
He smiles.
"Okay."
He returns to his car and I drive on my way, feeling absolutely miserable. I drove the rest of the way home wondering how I would pay off such a ticket after talking to a friend who assured me it probably wouldn't be less than $300. Something inside calmed me down, I did have a job, I would be able to pay it.
I returned home Sunday evening and listened to a voicemail telling me that I was no longer needed for the nanny position, that someone else was found instead. I believe this is the point where I really broke down. If I didn't have a job, I wouldn't have driven to Watertown and spent so much money on gas and tolls. I thought I was secure and I went anyway, wasting at least 4-5 precious days when I could've been job searching. On top of that, I was ticketed, ALMOST ticketed twice.
A week has gone by. I'm back to square one. The heat continues, with no promise of breaking anytime soon. 92 as I sit here. I really can't afford air conditioning now. In fact, I can't really afford anything. I have an interview on Thursday. If it doesn't work out, I will be applying for restaurant jobs come this weekend. One more week, I tell myself, and then I will cave.
God is telling me something. The heat. The speeding ticket. The parking ticket. The unemployment. The continuous let-downs. I'm not really sure what He's planning for me and I'm trying so hard to hope it's something good. It's just that when you're sweating and tired and rubbed so raw that you burst into tears for absolutely no reason, it is very very hard to keep the faith.
Peace.
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